<p style="text-align: center;" class="BodyBembo">Some things you
should ALWAYS say yes to. For example...
<p style="text-align: center;" class="BodyBembo">
"Complimentary Champagne, Madam?" If I could just take an extra glass for my invisible friend...and just top them both up a bit, would you?
"We've got a free seat in business class - would you like an upgrade?"
Oh, I don't know. This is a tricky one. Let me think about it for approximately 0.00001 seconds.
"Is it OK to use contactless?" Of course. We all know it means the money comes out of the magic pretend bank in the sky and not out of my account.
"We have an extra 40% off everything today - did you want anything else?" Let me just spend another five hours in here and I'll tell you.
"Chocolate on your cappuccino?" Please. Do I look like a barbarian?
"Would you like the password for the free Wi-Fi?" What's with the talking? Just. Give. It. To. Me. Already.
"I'm just about to leave this extremely annoying multi-storey car park. Are you looking for a space?" I will follow you anywhere. I love you. Let me worship you.
"Did you just drop this ten pound note?" Oh, silly me, always so clumsy.
"Did you want fries with that?" Er... I'm... um... The 5:2 Diet... Er.... Oh, go on.
"Have you read the terms and conditions?"
I have definitely carefully considered all 356 clauses of this agreement before ticking this box.
"Shall we use a condom?" Nice try. Put it on.
Follow Viv on Twitter @vivgroskop

